Retracing Your Steps
by JapaneseAnimeFreak16
Summary: Heroes never get a break, especially one Ash Ketchum of Pallet town. Saving the world was one thing - crushing on your rival was another. ON HIATUS.
1. Just Like Old Times…Or Not

**Author's Not:** Hey…sorry about the long wait ^.^; I know, I know, I'm a horrible person for leaving this story like I had. It's been a while, huh? Well, in my defense, I didn't think this would end up being so popular – especially with all the grammar and spelling mistakes. Yeesh, it's kind of scary to see what I wrote and passed off as decent Fanfiction in my younger days…*daydreams* Oops, sorry about that lol Well, I've decided to re-write the chapters and change some things and maybe that will give me the inspiration I need to actually create something from these ashes. Sorry to those who had to wait so long! And sorry if anyone was looking for a short, sweet, PWP or simple smut story. With what I have in mind, it'll be a _lot_ longer than that. Hopefully deeper and well developed emotionally and plot-wise. It's been a few years so I wonder how different my writing has become – hopefully better ;D

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Pokémon, Ash would've won AT LEAST the damn Hoenn League. And, he and Gary would be doing the down and dirty, the bump and grind, knockin' boots, just all out GETTING SOME with each other. Unfortunately, I don't have any rights to Pokémon whatsoever *sad face*

**Warning: **this is **YAOI**! If you don't like **GUY ON GUY ACTION, **then _DON'T READ_! If I see ANY flames for Ash and Gary getting it on, I'm reporting you and you will be torn apart by other reviewers – they can be viscous if they want to be! _**ANGST**_, slight AU, YAOI, lemons maybe, and some INNAPROPRIATE STUFF! Also, there might be some swearing since they're TEENAGERS, duh!

**Rated: M**

**Summary: **Heroes never got a break, especially one Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town. Saving the world was one thing – crushing on your rival was another. Ash didn't know the what, when, who, where, why, or even the how– but it was the best and worst thing that ever happened to him.

**Word Count:** 2919 (w/o things listed in bold)

xxx

He could feel the familiar burn in his legs and the achiness in his muscles as he continued to run, now suddenly thankful for all those crazy adventures that involved so much exercise. His stamina was the only thing keeping him away from bodily harm.

The angry buzzing seemed to grow louder and more menacing in his ears and, despite the exertion, Ash couldn't help but feel the blush of embarrassment burning his cheeks.

He was the new Sinnoh Champ for Aceus' sake and yet here he was, caught unprepared for a lengthy chase by a huge swarm of Beedrill. With his luck he really should've expected _something_ to go wrong but really? It was strangely reminiscent of the first few adventures he'd had.

All he wanted was to visit his mom after winning the Sinnoh League – was that really too much to ask?

He jumped over a thorny bush and came out with a rather large tear in his jacket, a few cuts littering his arms and his right cheek, and another tear in his jeans. Mom wasn't gonna be happy and Misty, May, and Dawn were probably going to lecture him extensively while Max and Brock and maybe even Tracey snickered at his misfortune in the background.

The thought made him want to smile and grimace at the same time.

Ash ducked behind a bush after faking a right and crouched down by the base of a large tree, willing his breathing and heart rate to go down. When the buzzing passed, he relaxed against the tree, wondering if his mom and friends were looking for him.

xxx

It started as a nice day after he'd lost the persistent reporters, news cameras, and crazed fans – he shuddered at the memory. He had gotten home fairly early with Brock and Dawn by his side, the rather heavy trophy safely tucked away in his backpack, when he was surprised with a huge party to celebrate his victory.

Ash was happy to see Misty and her three sisters, May and Max, a few rival-turned-friends, and a _lot_ of people he'd met on his journey there – including the _really_ big adventures like with Lugia and Jirachi and…a lot more. His cheeks hurt from just smiling so much; it was one of the happiest days he could remember besides getting Pikachu on the first day of his journey.

He would never admit he felt a little hurt that Gary of all people had mostly ignored him – the thought that the brunette had reverted back into his younger, angrier years had terrified Ash more than he would have liked. Just a curt 'congratulations' was all the greeting he'd gotten and it was kind of irritating.

Anyways, a few hours later, a freak storm had come rumbling through but was over in less than an hour – more than enough time for everyone's collective Pokémon to freak out and run off the Professors land.

It was 'gotta catch 'em all' again and it was kind of fun to see who could get all their Pokémon back first.

Apparently, Ash – with all his confidence and supposed knowledge of the surrounding area, being a native and all – had ventured deeper than he'd intended. Misty would have a field day with just that. At least he was able to find several of his friends Pokémon and send them back to the Professors lab.

But it wasn't just that.

Ash couldn't exactly remember why he had walked so deeply into an area he didn't recall that clearly – there was just this _pull_ that brought him closer to…somewhere. The feeling reminded him of the strange draw he'd felt towards Lucario and the Tree of Beginning because of the strange bond through their aura.

Now, the pull was gone but he was still deeper in the forest than he'd wanted.

xxx

And thus, he was here in a disturbingly similar situation he had found himself in far too many times before.

Quickly assessing his situation like any other Pokémon battle, Ash concluded that he was sort of screwed. All of his poke balls were back at Professor's Oak lab and Pikachu was more than likely drowning himself in ketchup. His friends were probably searching for the rest of the escaped Pokémon, too busy to wonder where their new Sinnoh Champ ran off to, and his mom was probably cooking up another huge feast for the evening celebration.

Nice.

With a sigh, Ash stood and stretched, loosening his already cramping muscles. Thankfully, it was cool outside so he didn't have to worry about heat stroke and didn't sweat as much as usual; he wasn't a big fan of the sticky feeling even after all these years. He hunched his shoulders slightly, subconsciously hoping that he'd make himself look smaller by doing so, and took a cautious step forward.

_SNAP!_

Ash cringed when the twig beneath his foot made a whip-like crack. Seriously, did he spill salt or break a mirror or something? Talk about crap luck, especially after winning a freaking League.

He took off running in the opposite direction of the renewed angry buzzing.

Five minutes later…

Ash was seriously wondering what Pokémon he had pissed off this time. And how big was this freaking forest? He didn't remember the expanse of trees being quite so…vast. Or maybe he was running in circles. Judging by his aching muscles, headache, and slight disorientation, it was safe to assume that he may have been running around – literally – for the past half hour. If he weren't so tired, he would have been really irritated at the thought.

His pace slowed to a steady jog, his breath coming out in puffs as he tried to listen for any signs of angry Beedrill. None so far. That was hopefully a good sign…right? Maybe his luck was finally turning around…

A hand shot out from the shadows of the trees he was jogging by, catching him off guard with enough shock to thoroughly paralyze him to allow the stranger to drag him into the shadow of the trees as well. Ash swore his heart was either beating too fast for him to count or it had stopped completely. The only thing he was thankful for was that he was too out of breath to scream like a little girl.

He didn't know how many seconds, minutes, _hours_ passed before he could slow his heart rate but when he did, he still couldn't really feel his fingers or his legs. However, he was very aware of the fact that the person holding him captive was pressing his back to their chest, one hand covering his mouth and the other secured around both his arms and waist.

Yup. This was it. His adventures were over. He was going to go missing – kidnapped by some weirdo hiding in the trees – and his friends and family would never find him again.

Screw that! He wasn't going to go out without at least fighting! Ash suddenly started to struggle, twisting and turning in an attempt to get out of the now iron grasp he was held in. The person didn't seem all that surprised but growled lowly nonetheless, "Stop squirming. The Beedrill are still hunting and have attracted a lot more aggressive Pokémon." They didn't relinquish their hold on him.

That gave the new Sinnoh Champion pause; either from the hot breath on his neck or his kidnapper's – yes, the person was deemed a kidnapper until proven otherwise – words.

Deciding that the strange person wasn't an immediate threat, Ash took to downtime to actually let his muscles relax and recoup after all the running he'd down not minutes earlier. He wasn't happy to find his hands trembling and knees shaking from the adrenaline rush.

Ash was suddenly very acutely aware of every movement his captor was making, how their heartbeat seemed to increase almost drastically when he either breathed or squirmed, how their breath ghosted over the nape of his neck. He wasn't as creeped out as he thought he would be, but it was still creepy.

Finally, after what seemed like forever with a few Beedrill and other Pokémon scouting the area, Ash's captor deemed it safe enough to let go of the raven-haired teen.

Almost immediately, Ash jumped out of the person's hold, turning and opening his mouth to demand answers until he saw whom it was.

Spiky brunette, almost red, hair. Mischievous yet wise emerald eyes. Perpetually knowing and amused smirk. Altogether intelligent and self-confident bordering on arrogant demeanor.

"Gary?"

Said scientist smirked in that 'I know you know my name, don't wear it out' kind of way that still kind of irked Ash. "In the flesh. Still getting into trouble there, huh Ashy-boy?" he taunted, his eyes glittering in amusement as he stepped out of the shadows.

Ash didn't blow up like either of them expected and instead frowned a bit, feeling unsure when he heard the hidden but still present maliciousness in the other teen's words.

"Don't call me that." was all he said.

He didn't know where he stood anymore with Gary: his childhood friend, then rival (read: bully), then friend again, then…mutually respectful acquaintances? They'd drifted too far apart to really be called anything but distant friends anymore.

And, for some reason, it didn't feel right hearing Gary call him that horrid nickname, not with the simmering anger and frustration and spite hidden beneath the others' casual demeanor. There was no teasing smile, no friendly banter, no joking tone; it was just…demeaning.

Gary's smirk fell, obviously displeased with the lack of response from his once usually lively prey but wasn't discouraged in the least. "Why not? I've called you _Ashy-boy_ for years, why stop now?" Curiosity laced his words but to Ash, it sounded like a demand for answers.

Ash crossed his arms, a defensive position he'd never used against Gary – it was always, _always_ offensive, always forward – and kept the frown on his face. He'd grown up over the years and learned to tame his temper somewhat.

But Gary wouldn't know that because they weren't really anything more than associates, not best friends anymore – not even _rivals_.

"I've never liked that nickname. Not when we were kids and not now."

Gary shrugged carelessly, but he seemed to notice the air was less than happy. It felt more like an awkward and hostile meeting between two people in a bad relationship than a nice reunion between friends. Then again, he was anything but happy.

"Still getting into trouble though. Too bad some things don't change, huh, Mr. Sinnoh Champ?" He felt satisfaction bubble in his chest when the raven-haired teen's eyes narrowed but it was bittersweet.

"Sometimes, but some things are better off when they haven't changed, especially for the worse." Ash bit back, clearly referring to Gary's strange and off-balancing attitude. He wasn't sure if his old friend, rival, _whatever_ caught the reference.

Gary's smirk only widened, "Oh really? Like what? From what I see, the only things that have changed are your friends and your popularity."

This conversation was making him dizzy and he didn't really know what they were talking about anymore. Only after Ash detected the strange tone of voice – was that jealousy he heard? – did he realize that Gary had actually taken a few steps forward and was much closer than he remembered a few moments ago. He could almost see the flecks of gold in the other's emerald eyes and remembered a long time ago – when they were happier and younger and close – noticing it before but not really _noticing_.

"What are you doing here, Gary?" he asked, feeling more tired than he had in a long time.

The brunette didn't seem surprised at the question but wasn't exactly expecting it to pop up, "Looking for the missing Pokémon. Like you were doing until you made some Beedrill angry. Again." He cracked a small, _real_ smile and Ash couldn't help but smile back.

"Heh. Yeah, my luck hasn't really changed either." They both chuckled at that and the air suddenly seemed lighter from the nostalgia but there was still that feeling of unease and…anticipation lingering.

Ash was suddenly extremely aware of the fact that his back was pressed against the rough bark of another tree with the brunette very much in his personal space bubble, staring up with surprise into Gary's predatory eyes. "That's not the only thing that hasn't changed."

Then everything blurred and all Ash could feel was heat – from his flushing face, Gary's body pressed against his, the blood rushing through his body, Gary's hand on his cheek and on _other places_ that they normally _shouldn't_ be.

For a moment, he wondered why his lungs ached and he remembered it was because Gary was kissing him, long and hard and had his tongue in his mouth, doing wicked things that left him feeling weak in the knees – as girly as that sounded.

Ash was trying desperately to ground himself, remind himself that this was _Gary_ of all people but it only made his head feel that much lighter. His only saving grace was the grip he had on Gary's shirt but even that wasn't enough to quell the sudden burning desire and pleasure he felt light his body.

His only consolation was that Gary was feeling the effects of their kiss as well but it only spurred the scientist on. There was a groan and a moan and a gasp but Ash wasn't sure which one of them was making the noises that made this all the more embarrassing as well as arousing.

His breath hitched when Gary's lips left his and moved downward, brushing against his cheek then his jaw until they latched onto his neck and- _oh._

Ash's grip on the slightly taller teens' shoulders tightened, unsettled that he had to use the tree for support but uncaring as Gary continued to kiss and bite and press closer. Somewhere between the kiss – or kisses? – and the hickeys, the brunette had thoroughly trapped Ash against another tree, a knee between the others legs and pressing his body flush against him. And- _oh God, _there was friction and more heat and more pleasure.

It should've bothered him, it really should. He didn't like being trapped, forced into a corner with no way out. He didn't like being limited, restricted, because it was just another way to say he couldn't do something and he was kind of a rebel since he fought his bonds, fought back cause that meant he said he _could_.

This was no different even though he wasn't necessarily trapped but he couldn't just sit – or stand, pressed into a tree by another body, by Gary, being kissed senseless – idly. He was a man of action and many could attest to that.

So, he fought back in this battle he had no real experience in, even with the fire heating up his body and the blood leaving his brain. When Gary's lips met his with fervor again, and his tongue – God, his _tongue_ – was sliding against his, he kissed back and was met with resistance and another battle ensued, one that was so different than the verbal assaults and the Pokémon fights and the pride wars.

At some point, his hand was in Gary's surprisingly soft hair and he wasn't sure if he was trying to pull the brunette away or crush him closer – no, definitely closer.

There was another gasp, another moan, a whimper – Ash really hoped that wasn't him – and then they were apart, gasping and breathing and cold. Their faces were flushed and their chests rose and fell with every pant and reality suddenly came back with crushing realization.

He'd just kissed – made out with, received hickeys from, was ravaged against a tree by – Gary. The person he didn't know his relationship with anymore, and suddenly got a lot more complicated. Or clearer, he wasn't sure since his brain had short-circuited a while ago.

Gary wasn't in a much better condition though he looked satisfied if not surprised.

Ash knew his eyes shone with confusion and bewilderment and asked, "What was that?" breathlessly. He was still leaning against the tree, his hands shaking slightly by his sides and this time he couldn't blame an adrenaline rush.

Gary, for once, seemed unsure what to answer. His eyes flashed with satisfaction, need, regret, sorrow, and enough desire to make Ash's face burn again. Distantly, Ash noticed it was darker outside and the wind was colder. The sky had turned into a mix of yellow and bright orange, a sign the sun would soon fall behind the mountains.

The brunette opened his mouth to say something, anything, but another voice cut through the haze, their private and unfinished moment, "Ash? Ash, where are you? It's time to go back, all the Pokémon were recovered! And it's almost time for the fireworks!"

Ash recognized the person as Misty. He turned to where her voice came from but stopped himself from calling out to her as well.

They couldn't leave it like this.

In a weird way it felt like if he answered Misty he would be turning his back to his first real friend – cause back then, they really were _real_ friends – and would be choosing _her,_ and that would be kind of awkward since a distant part of his mind had already decided he didn't _want _her, he wanted.._._he turned back to face Gary and actually say something but he couldn't.

Gary was gone.

xxx

**Author's Note: **There you have it! Two chapters in one! Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, no beta-reader :P Also, if the second half of the chapter seems rambly, its supposed to cause these are kind of how my thoughts run together and since this is mainly Ash's point of view I figured, why not? lol Sorry if they seem a little awkward right now, they're still trying to find out what exactly they mean to each other – and there may be some…LOVE TRIANGLES! Mwuahahahaha!

I hope it was a lot better, I'm planning on drawing their relationship out this time as well as having an actual plot lol How was it? Continue like this or just keep the old story up? I know this is a lot more detailed and I hope you all enjoyed – thanks for reading! :D

Constructive criticism is appreciated, ideas are welcomed, flamers are haters ;D


	2. Reflection and Retrospect

**Author's Note: **Just a warning, this chapter isn't very interesting. Okay, I lied, it's downright BORING! But it's either this or another major case of writers block O.o This is mainly a transitional phase and has some important points to it, so you can get by without reading this chapter, but it might be a little confusing later :P

**Author's Ramble:** (This is something that will let me ramble and help my thought process while the Author's Note is for important stuff going on in the story, thanks!) First order of business…I'm sorry! Next time I have a hiatus I'll actually let you guys know so that you don't wonder where the hell the new chapter is ^.^' Jeez, even after giving that whole spiel about re-starting my brain and such. Tsk tsk. Well, school started again, and my demon AP English teacher has already given my class multiple essays and tests on various subject matter, so it's been quite hectic =.= I hope you lovely readers have had a nice summer and those of you that are students…good luck T^T lol Thanks again for all the amazing reviews and favorites! Seeing all those have really helped motivate me into writing again, so thank you all for your support. I might actually cry. ANYWAYS! ONWARD WITH THE STORY! It's longer! :D

**MY BIRTHDAY WAS TWO DAYS AGO! YAY! I'M A YEAR OLDER NOW! I feel so ooold DX lol ** Sorry, still happy :D

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Pokemon and I'm too tired to write anything witty =.= LAST DISCLAIMER!

**Warning**: This chapter doesn't have much to be warned about. Maybe two or three 'bad' words like 'damn' but that's it. A little Comashipping moment for **AnnaAsakura25** since I promised her some ^.^ Hope it's okay, Anna! As well as, OF COURSE, GaryxAsh love but it's not much =.=

**Rating**: **M **overall, **K+** for this chapter.

* * *

><p>Ash sighed in content as he lay in his bed, arms crossed behind his head with Pikachu resting peacefully on his stomach an hour after the celebrations were over. "Great night, huh Pikachu?" he asked his little companion with a small grin.<p>

Pikachu looked at him and agreed with a cute, "Chu~!"

He smiled and leaned his head back again, staring contemplatively at the ceiling, absentmindedly brushing a finger across his still sensitive lips as questions whirled in his mind. Only in the privacy of his own mind did he admit that he sounded like some girl gushing over her crush, wondering if he liked her back and if he'd ever see her as a someone worth spending the rest of their lives together…or something. Red burned his cheeks and he groaned in embarrassment, not noticing Pikachu's curious expression.

_But_, he thought with a small smile forming on his lips, _today was a great day._

xxx

Just as he thought, after his…encounter with Gary, the party was fun, heartwarming, and more than he could ever ask for – except for the part where he had to explain to his worried mother and slightly panicky friends just _why_ his face was bleeding, his clothes were torn, and seemed to have a fever. His cheeks still burned in embarrassment from retelling the story – conveniently leaving out the part where Gary had pinned him to a tree and did inexplicable things to him – but after their initial worry, admonishment, and amusement, they'd all gone back to celebrating.

He had to answer the many phone calls from people too far to visit for one night and thanked them for calling and congratulating him in his success. Many well-known Pokémon trainers and coordinators he'd met and battled called or sent letters that made him smile all the more. There had been multiple challenges issued and Ash was excited to return them.

The food was delicious, as expected of Ash's genius cook of a mother. She'd made a buffet large enough to feed a small army and with so much diversity, everyone from every region enjoyed their favorite food – Ash was sure more than a few people fell in love at first bite.

"_You know," Misty started conversationally, taking a bite out one of her hometown favorites, "if I had to choose between Brock and Mrs. Ketchum's food, I'd never be able to decide."_

_Dawn giggled as she took another sip of her drink, "I know what ya mean, I'd probably starve before I could make a choice."_

_May shrugged and dug into her food with vigor, much like a certain Sinnoh Champion they all knew, "I'd just eat both and say it was a tie." All three girls laughed as their Pokémon danced around their feet._

The fireworks were breathtaking as they exploded in the sky and for a moment, Ash felt inexplicably happy tears prick at his eyes. All of his friends were _here_, with him, safe and celebrating and having fun and it was the best feeling in the world. This really was the best day of his life, to have so many amazing, loyal friends that would have his back, staying with him by his side, laughing and joking. It made his heart swell with happiness and something so intense, he couldn't even describe it.

The evening was filled with laughter and Pokémon battles, all of which Ash won with a few close calls – _"He's the Sinnoh Champ, what'd you expect?"_ There were even bets going around since so many wanted to challenge the new Champ again – _"If I win, you owe me a kiss." "…what?"_ – but after a close call involving a bowl of chocolate pudding, a hose, an unexpected gust of wind, and some terrified forest Pokémon, they called it quits and filled the air with banter and teasing – _"If my Sunflora wasn't lactose-intolerant, I totally would've beaten you!" _

Later that night, there were multiple huge bonfires that lit up the darkened sky. Bags of jumbo marshmallows, bars of chocolate, and boxes of graham crackers were passed around with long sticks so that everyone could make s'mores.

Stories were told, mostly about Ash and his friends – his triumphs and failures – and their comedic journey's here or there. Many marveled at some of the things Ash had done and they made sure to ask the Sinnoh Champ himself. There were a lot of questions and not enough time for answers, which lead to surprisingly – terrifyingly – accurate rumors that, for Ash's sanity and for the sake of _some_ sort of privacy, would stay that way.

"He rode _Lugia?"_

"Did you know Ash and his friends saved the world, like, ten times?"

"Remember on the news about some castle turning into crystal cause of the Unknown? Ash's mom was captured and I heard him, Misty, and Brock broke in the save her and the little girl that lived there."

"Did he really meet and save Arceus, the Pokémon that created _all_ Pokémon?"

"Yeah, he totally beat down Team Galactic!"

"He's met Palkia and traveled through time with Dialga before."

"Is it true he's actually seen a Mew?"

"Didn't he also stop some bad organization?"

"I heard Giratina took him to another dimension on its back!"

"He's the Chosen One."

"Is Team Rocket still bothering him? Those goofballs couldn't capture a baby Squirtle even if one walked right up to them for a hug and fell on it's back."

"He and Pikachu were captured by some evil organization before and ended up disbanding Team Aqua and Team Magma."

"He's actually seen Groudon and Kyogre _fight!_ It must've been EPIC!_"_

"I think he's friends with the Pokémon Champ, Cynthia."

"Rumor has it he's battled a few of the Elite Four and is friends with some of them, like Agatha of Kanto, Drake of Hoenn, and Aaron of Sinnoh."

"No way…he's seen a _Celebi?"_

"I can't believe he's actually met Suicune. That's so cool!"

"Isn't he eligible to become a Frontier Brain since he won all of his matches?"

"He's supposedly in a bunch of prophecies."

"He totally helped some Poke rangers stopped a pirate from stealing an underwater jewel!"

And so on. His friends were mentioned numerous times as well but they mainly elbowed him in the side with sly smiles as his face heated up from embarrassment. Winning a Pokémon battle was one thing; being recognized for saving humanity a few times was overwhelmingly different, especially with a doting mother gushing and boasting about her wonderful, kind, heroic, and amazing son just a few feet away. Ash buried his face into his hands when she mentioned her numerous reminders to change his underwear everyday, "_Mom!"_

He was a bit disheartened to see more than a few people leave – they had lives and jobs to get back to, but he made sure to give them proper farewells. They promised to keep in touch and to visit; Ash smiled and promised the same.

By the time everyone that wasn't Ashs' traveling companion at one time or another left to stay at hotels located in nearby cities, it was already the wee hours of the morning. Everyone was tired but content, nearly glowing with happiness after such a cheerful and amazing celebration. It didn't hurt that the celebration was for a young man they all respected and befriended.

The Pokémon were tired out from playing so much and filling up on Brock's amazing poke food, and were safely tucked away in their owner's pockets as they left one by one or group by group.

xxx

A glance at his old Pokémon clock told him it was a close to one in the morning, along with the snores coming from the guest room, which made him crack a smile. Brock didn't snore out in the woods, but after rooming with the other teen for years in Pokémon centers, inns, and hotels, the new Sinnoh champion had discovered that _damn_ he could snore – apparently the breeder needed a decent bed to be comfortable enough to snore so horrendously loud. Ash was almost jealous that Misty, May, Max, and Dawn got to leave the house and escape the noise but knew he wouldn't switch places if given the chance.

It was an unspoken agreement that Brock got the guest room while the girls and some others stayed at Professor Oaks lab – Brock was like his brother in all but blood and he'd travelled with him the longest so it was only natural for him to stay. The girls didn't begrudge them their final sleepover, seeing as how Brock was becoming more and more popular and Ash would be traveling again and battling even more with stronger people.

The thought made him feel a little sad, but he was happy for himself and his friend. With another content smile, Ash scratched Pikachu behind the ear and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Gary ran a hand through his spiky hair restlessly, alternating between pretending to finish some paperwork and trying <em>not<em> to think about a certain someone, his leg bouncing anxiously all the while. Where did his self-control go? His patience? His common sense?

_I'm so stupid._ He mentally groaned. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

Kissing Ash – if it could be called that – had _not _been in his schedule for that particular day. Actually, it hadn't been in his schedule _at all_ for _forever_, so _why_ in the name of all sweet, innocent Pokémon did he do it? Hell, he hadn't even thought about it before it was happening.

….okay, he'd been thinking about doing it for a while – a few months _or was it years? – _now, so the idea wasn't all that unappealing – _definitely not_, some girlish, lispy voice in the back of his mind added – but he never thought about _actually_ going through with it. He didn't even know if the dunderhead was interested in guys, let alone his once best friend that made a lot of his most impressionable years crappy and miserable – it still hadn't crossed his mind that _maybe _Ash _was_ kissing back.

Acting like a jerk today certainly hadn't helped his chances either.

But _dammit_! Just seeing Ash being smothered with attention – both good _and_ bad, mind you – and knowing it wasn't _him_ smothering the little dweeb made his blood boil with possessive jealousy.

Of course when he heard the news, hell, when he cheered in the stands with every other over excited, hyped up Pokemon trainer/coordinator/breeder/lover and _watched him win_, he felt an indescribable amount of pride swell in his heart, laughing and clapping as the new Sinnoh Champion fell flat on his butt from a mix of exhaustion, disbelief, and euphoria. He swore it was the happiest moment in his life, just like it probably was for Ash.

Gary knew that he wouldn't have been able to get to the still-shocked teen from the mass of people between them and settled for congratulating him at his party and actually telling the raven how much he was proud of him and how impressed he was.

But then the fans and paparazzi started to swarm him, his big amber eyes widening at how much attention – again, both good _and_ bad – he was getting and how grabby people could be. The raven certainly wasn't expecting so many girls and guys to ask him out while they grabbed at his clothes and Pokemon. The researcher felt something in his chest tighten especially when he got a clear view of some hot-shot blonde boy eyeing Ash like a piece of juicy, juicy meat. It took a lot of will power not to ruin his pretty face, but that was just the _start._

It only got worse when, at the party, the only way he knew not to jump the poor unsuspecting raven was to revert back to his old self and keep the teen as far away as possible. Some small part of him mocked him for being afraid to approach Ash, for being afraid of being rejected from one of the only people that really every _mattered_ in his life, and he couldn't disagree. Another part just ached at the hurt he glimpsed in those brown eyes.

Gary figured when the Pokémon got loose, it was his perfect chance to get away from everyone and actually let his guard down and try to reign in some self-control. Ash was just too cute when he was blushing but at the same time, when either the sun or moonlight touched his face, he seemed to glow, and that made it that much harder for Gary to _not_ do anything uncharacteristic in front of everyone.

That plan backfired when he happened to catch a glimpse of the person he wasn't directly approaching (read: avoiding) and was torn between cracking a smile at how much Ash had retained his childish, rash personality, and panicking because he wasn't sure if he could hold back from doing unspeakable things to the shorter teen – which, again, didn't go as planned.

The brunette sighed tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he forced away the memories that were still only a few hours fresh – of Ash pinned to a tree, his soft lips, the cute little noises that he made when he-

_Stop_. His mind screamed, and his eyes flew open. When did they close?

"I need some air." He muttered tiredly, ignoring his clock that read 4:27am in bright red numbers. "Stay here, Umbry." He commanded gently, petting his faithful Pokémon until she fell back asleep and nuzzled her masters pillow. Gary cracked a smile and slipped on a long sleeved t-shirt reminiscent of his younger years and some plain blue jeans.

With a quiet click of his bedroom door, he was gone.

* * *

><p>Ash's eyes flew open, wide and filled with an unfathomable terror as if he were still having a nightmare in his conscious state. His whole body felt heavy with fatigue and his heart was pounding in his chest almost painfully, a sheen of sweat covering his chilled skin as he tried to slow his breathing. For a few minutes, he lay in his bed, trying not to get dizzy and nauseous from his pounding headache and trembling limbs. With a shaky breath, Ash blinked a few times at his dark ceiling, slowly realizing that he was awake as fragments of his dream lingered in his consciousness – only a few hours had passed since he went to bed.<p>

"Wh-what…was that?" he whispered to himself, still breathing heavily.

His headache eventually receded but there was still a slight throbbing in the back of his head. The Sinnoh champion sighed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep again, and allowed his mind to wander, trying to grasp at the final threads of his dreams before they completely slipped away.

One thing that stuck out clearly in his mind was the primal fear he'd felt clawing at his insides, desperate to get out and away. After that, there was panic and pain, hazy with disorientation and a strangely intense, _dark_ rage he'd never felt before. He still felt some of the anger burning in his veins, but at who or what he didn't know. Everything else was just a blur of words and emotions he didn't recognize and his frustration at not knowing slowly built up into another painful headache.

"I'm going nuts…" the trainer groaned.

With a tired sigh, Ash pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, hoping to ease the renewed pain. By now, his heart had stopped trying to leap from his chest and his lungs didn't feel like they were about to explode – all without waking Pikachu, who was usually acutely aware of his trainer's moods and wellbeing.

A glance at the yellow mouse told him that the poor little guy was tired, especially after being pampered and fed a feast like the rest of the Pokémon. Although it would've been nice to have his friend accompany him, Ash knew it wouldn't be fair to deprive his best friend some well-deserved sleep.

Slowly, Ash got up from bed and changed his clothes into some simple cargo blue cargo pants and a black t-shirt, leaving his cap by his bedside as he snuck through the door and down the hall. Thankfully, any squeaks or thumps made during his escape were drowned out by Brock's snores – was it just him or were they even louder than before?

Sneaking out of the house wasn't too much trouble – Mr. Mime was just as tired as his mom from all the cleaning and serving the vast amount of people for an entire day.

As he walked down the cobblestone path that branched off from the main road running through Pallet Town, Ash was struck by an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. From all the craziness of the day, as well as his quick breaks between each journey, he didn't really have time to think about his childhood. Despite the eerie darkness of the night and the shadows cast by the moons light, Ash could still hear the sound of laughter in the air from years passed.

As his feet took him to a familiar place hidden in the woods, a particular memory struck him from earlier.

xxx

"Ash."

Said trainer turned to where his name was called, internally hoping it wasn't another friend or fan wanting to congratulate him on his achievements – despite Misty's claims that his big head wouldn't fit through the door if the praise kept up, he'd had enough of that for one night, _thankyouverymuch_ – and was surprised to see one of his old rivals.

"Hey, Paul." Ash greeted with a small grin.

The other trainer didn't smile back but something in his expression softened and his mouth didn't form his trademark scowl. He seemed unsure of what he was doing, standing awkwardly with the distant firelight on his back and unwilling to look the new Sinnoh Champion in the eye.

Ash's grin didn't falter but he turned back to the view of a small, shimmering lake surrounded by nocturnal Pokémon and trees. It was a special spot he and his mother found, atop a medium sized hill right outside of Pallet, and whenever he felt overwhelmed or sad, this was his sanctuary. He wasn't sure how he felt about having another person – _besides Gary_, a voice whispered – here in such a sacred place, but decided not to dwell on it too long.

Paul still hadn't moved from his spot, but from his shadow casted next to Ash, the black haired trainer saw that the other teen had shifted his stance. After all their meetings and battles, Ash sort of knew how to handle an uncomfortable but prideful trainer – let them have time to recollect their thoughts without pushing or pressuring. However, in this case, it was much more fun to irritate them into saying what they wanted to say by 'ignoring' them.

His ears perked up at the sound of approaching footsteps and held back a triumphant smirk – score one for awesome Ash, zero for pouty Paul. "Beautiful view, isn't it?" there was no answer but a feeling of agreement.

Both their shadows were almost at the same length now since Paul had stopped to stand next to Ash, looking out at the peaceful view, but not really paying attention to it. The rustling of trees and laughter in the distance filled the almost-but-not-quite companionable silence between them before it was broken with two words.

"I'm sorry."

"…"

"…"

"…"

_Does not compute. Does not compute._

Ash blinked at that, trying to comprehend those two, rushed words that were uttered so quietly, the trainer swore that it was just the wind or his tired mind making things up. "Um…what?" he asked, his mind still overloading a bit from the strangeness of it all – was his old rival feeling okay?

There was a tense if not embarrassed silence before Paul sighed irritably and said again, slower with a bit more of the familiar bite his tone always had, especially with Ash, "…I said I'm sorry."

…well, score one for pouty Paul.

Ash turned to look at the purple-haired teen but was slightly annoyed to see that he wasn't looking at him. "I heard the first time," he held back a laugh when he saw the teen grimace, "but I don't get why."

Paul turned to look at him – finally – with a nonplussed if not incredulous expression – which was strange to see because Ash wholeheartedly believed the teen only had four expressions: smug, irritated, angry, and bored. "Why?" he repeated disbelievingly. Ash tilted his head very slightly and that seemed to goad the other trainer into finally saying, "Don't people apologize when they demean someone so many times, for making fun of their friends, for trying to hurt their Pokémon, and for being jerks in general?"

Ash blinked at him again and didn't say anything for a moment. Paul shifted uncomfortably under the teens scrutiny, wondering why he thought this was a good idea, before Ash remarked, "That is the most I've ever heard you say outside of a Pokémon battle."

The purple-haired trainer's right eye twitched. Ash held back another laugh, knowing it would adverse affects on his companion, and decided to give him a straight answer.

"To answer your question, no." That wasn't the answer Paul was expecting and his expression mirrored his surprise, "People apologize for hurting someone's feelings, friends, or Pokémon, not for what they said or did to hurt them. You believed what you said when you said it and I'd be a hypocrite if I told you what you said was wrong – I mean, opinions aren't wrong, are they?" he paused with a thoughtful look on his face that made him seem younger and older at the same time, "Did that even make any sense?"

Paul was left grasping for words, surprise and doubt flickering across his dark eyes as he tried to understand what the teen before him was saying.

At first it didn't make sense that Ash of all people could speak so maturely but, with a bit a of a jolt, Paul realized that Ash had grown since the last time they'd seen each other – which, admittedly, was quite a while all things considered – and that he really didn't know the teen in the first place.

It left him feeling a bit hollow and left behind, which was a ridiculous notion seeing as how they were still rivals and had no friendly ties. Apologizing was his way of clearing his irritating conscience. Yeah, that was it. He didn't want to be friends with Ash or his little gang. He'd done what he came to do and that was all.

"But I forgive you anyway." And then Ash was smiling his charming, sweet, _sincere_ smile again, his eyes dancing with the light of the bonfires and the full moon, and Paul swore his heart jumped into his throat because he couldn't even choke out a reply.

"Uh…um, I…" Paul stuttered, his cheeks heating up when he saw that Ash was looking at him with concern and something else that made him feel warm despite the crisp night air. "I-I gotta go."

He tore his gaze away from Ash's and nearly stumbled in his quest to put as much space between them as possible, his mind feeling fuzzy.

Before he was completely out of sight, he turned back to the teen, the firelight now casting a mysterious shadow over his schooled features, "Congratulations." And he soon disappeared into the mass of people down below.

Ash blinked owlishly when he felt his cheeks heat up. "Hm, must be coming down with something…" he muttered, a small smile still on his lips.

xxx

Ash blinked out of his reverie when he saw where he was, looking out into the shimmering lake with nostalgic eyes. The moon's light touched the surface and the gentle waves reflected the light into the trees. It was the same lake he had been looking at when he talked to Paul earlier, only more eerie and beautiful.

His brows furrowed when he felt his insides tighten uncomfortably, a familiar feeling he got whenever there was something big going on or if he or his friends were in danger.

"Ash?"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>There's the chapter! I know its reaaally boring and slow now, but it's just a set up of whats to come. I FINALLY have a plot for this and I hope it turns out awesome :D Sorry if Paul seems a little OOC, it'll be explained later. And to those of you who detest love triangles, don't worry, there will only be hints and stuff to make Gary jealous cause jealous Gary is a hot Gary XD Sorry if this is really Ash-centric, but I'll definitely have more character interactions later. Once again, IM SORRY FOR THE LOOOONG DELAY! But unfortunately, I can't see myself being one of those authors updating every week, there's just too much stuff going on right now – Marching Band, AP classes, piano, Jazz Band, and a crap load of other stuff. Please understand and don't be too mad D:

Sorry in advance for grammatical errors, I'm really tired now and I don't feeling like reading the same thing for the 20th time today, so bear with me D: I don't have a clue when the next chapter idea will be out since I don't even know where it's gonna lead yet from this point XD

P.S. Flamers, right now is not the time to troll or piss me off. I'm in one of those moods where EVERYTHING pisses me off and makes me want to push people down stairs…into fire. And needles. And hydrochloric acid. And anything else that will hurt and will make you incapable of making babies.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT! IT IS GREATLY APPRECIATED! :D


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